Sarah Baek

saichan @ 2006-07-29T20:10:00

2006-07-30T03:15:01Z

omgg. I can't wait for college..ESP if I get into SFSU or SJSU!!! SFSU more 'cause I can room with my favorite DM, PIKAWU<3333333 ahhhhhhh!!!! We can have those drunken adventures at SF!! HAHAHAHA, we should get Henry to come with us, and then we could all dance on the Golden Gate Bridge. and tell each other we have to shower and sign off, but continue dancing anyway.. and then talk about your birthday. :] it would be AMAZING.

I'm obsessed with "I Want to Save You" by Something Corporate.

Something Corporate is my love. along with my incredible Man-Wife, and Miss Pikawu ;D

My mama made me chilled coffee!
First off, it's coffee. She'd usually screech at me for drinking coffee.
Second off, it's CHILLED. she hates me drinking cold stuff.

today is a wonderful day <3

saichan @ 2006-07-29T17:19:00

2006-07-30T00:19:32Z

I'M MISSING QUIETDRIVE AT IRVINE SPECTRUM!!

riiight nowwww :' (

holy smokes, batman!

2006-07-23T06:08:40Z

I totally didn't post the good news on here!

I GOT A PERMIT!

..the end. o_o

..so..

2006-07-23T01:54:57Z

everyone's dying.

saichan @ 2006-07-09T18:34:00

2006-07-10T01:35:47Z

Now, this girl knew many things.
She knew that this boy made her days happier.
She knew that this boy was not like any other.
She knew that there was something about this boy.

...but what she didn't know,
was that she would come to love him
so much, that the thought of letting
him go had never crossed her mind.

MMhm.

2006-07-08T04:38:24Z

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind is an incredible movie.

MMhm.

saichan @ 2006-07-06T04:58:00

2006-07-06T11:58:57Z

I can't sleeep.
tralalalalala.

saichan @ 2006-07-05T23:25:00

2006-07-06T06:26:07Z

somedays all I do is watch the sky.

FELSON, WAIT!

2006-07-04T05:50:19Z

(Felson being my bladder)

goddamnit, I haven't used the toilets for a LONG ASS TIME. there are ANTS EVERYWHERE. I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOOOM.

but I'm ant-phobic! More over than spiders!! -_-; I'm so lame.

saichan @ 2006-06-28T14:44:00

2006-06-28T21:45:34Z

Love of mine, some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

saichan @ 2006-06-23T11:13:00

2006-06-23T18:15:58Z

In 10 years, no matter where I am, what I'm doing, I'll come back to this LJ,

and find everyone still here.

Though the distance may be farther, we're all in this together. :]

friends are wonderful.

hmmnm..

2006-06-23T07:34:15Z

I've been really out of the loop lately... so I sincerely apologize to my lovely man-wife, Krispi. I'm sorryy for acting so rushed and bashful, yet so quiet Wednesday afternoon. I was sort of confused, and didn't really feel like talking much... I think I just needed some quiet time alone, which is what I got when I got home, a little..

So I'm soorryyyy!!! <33333333

--

and an apology to another.

I saw your IM, but I hesitated.

..why?

I hesitated, and I didn't say anything back.
I was confused, is all...

but you should know, aeiou too.
you of all people should know that.

my heart hurts, but I'm feeling a little better.

♥

le future.

2006-06-21T06:43:22Z

So I've been planning my future.

I've been thinkin' of these places:

CSULB, CSUF, Cal Poly, CSULA, or SJSU.

I prefer SJSU out of them all. It's away from home, away from stress, it's a place I wanted to live in (Northern Cali)... it's far, but I love it.

CSULB and Cal Poly don't sound bad either.

D:

2006-06-17T23:03:22Z

there's something missing in my life.......

....KRISPI, WHERE ART THOU!?

Goodbye, Seniors.

2006-06-16T04:37:43Z

"It's this heroic idea, to give up love for the perception of a greater good"

I just thought that ironically fit yesterday's matter.

--

SENIORS LAST FORREKIN' DAY. WTFF. we have to suffer for a week! and seniors get to sleep in all LAZYY. that's what they are- LAZY! :D

I took a few pictures, I'll put 'em up later.

Man- school is gonna be lonely without them darn seniors. I'm so depressed. For a reason more than just one. I will see you all one last time at Grad night!! :( I'm still kind of sad.

I can't believe it. You guys are gonna be gone. Two years ago, I wasn't that affected- see, I never really got close to the seniors back then, but this year.. I feel so, so, so, SO close to them.. my heart is aching. :(

So sad... :T

:[

2006-06-15T05:22:32Z

..no.. this isn't about who deserves who.

this is about love.

//my heart hurts :/

Incredible.

2006-06-14T06:12:02Z

There are no words to describe the feelings that I have for you.

You've rendered me breathless.

11 Days...

2006-06-11T02:23:35Z

...until graduation for the seniors... 11 days until us Juniors become Seniors.

I'm gonna miss you seniors.. so much. :( Esp. Sharon. and Dean and Andrew. And Darren, Reed, Laura, Adrian, Kevin, Kartik, Abe. Things won't be the same w/o you here. And just as Tracy had said, I'm scared of the coming year. I've always looked up to Sharon and came to her for trying to figure out what to do next, or anything at all for that matter.

I understand that I should make my own decisions now, but seeing as how I've usually relied on Sharon for the answer to things, I don't know.. but there comes a time where the ones you love must leave. and there comes a time where you must let go of them. My only choice is to let them go- they have college, and I'm still in HS. And I know that they're smart enough to make the right decisions. This won't be the end, I will definitely see them again.

I don't know why I'm even typing up this speech (which should have been used during the banquet, I'm tellin' ya).. school isn't over for another 2 weeks.

Finally- Junior -> Senior. FINALLY.

I GET TO RULE THE SCHOOL.
kind of.

Sarah <3's Sharon. FOREVERRR!

Goodbye...

2006-06-10T18:33:15Z

...to you, Mr. Jason Call. You made Daphne Loves Derby complete. :( :( I can't believe that was going to be the last time I'd see you playing (Troubadour, Hollywood). Chillax w/ DLD often so I can see you again. :]

Other than that, yesterday was funnn. Last band concert (for seniors), then went out to eat w/ Boram and SooYoon!!! At Red Robinsss, I haven't seen those two in such a long time. It felt refreshing. I had a one-on-one chat with Boram. :] It was fuun!

I got a few pics but pending whether I should or shouldn't post 'em. I'm feeling lazy. hahaha.- I'll do it.

*copy-pasted from xanga*

I think I have a strange attraction to food poisoning (which I'd rather not, mind you!). Anyway- had school. Then walked to Chipotle with Andrea and Paula. We met Daniel (Sze), Ryan (Kim), and Michael (Chen) there. We hung out after a while, I watched Ryan and Michael play Pokemon and try to battle each other.. I also found out a cheat on how to get Mew (what? You already knew? Dang it! Why am I always late with everything!?).

Afterward, Mr. Sze took Paula, Andrea, and I to Kohl's over at the Cerritos TC 'cuz Paula wanted new sandals..? But I stayed behind and looked through the school's yearbook. Daniel kept me company. Thanks youuu!

Anyway- afterward, he dropped us off at school where we changed into concert dresses and took a buttload of pictures in the bathroom. Hahahaha- we were so bored..there's nothing to do when you're early. :[

I filmed a bit, but disposed of one of the few I had recorded. Wellz, so, we had our last band concert..I saw Patrick! Patty McPat Pat! :] And I saw Boram and SooYoon!! FINALLY!!! SO, we (the fluties..and then Kevin) went to Red Robins over at the Los Cerritos Mall (though we hadn't quite stepped into the mall). I just ordered a Hawaiian Heart Throb..I wasn't too hungry.. see, my stomach was hurting even before then. I think I got food poisoning at Chipotle 'cuz a lotta people do when they eat there.. ughh.. *barf*

All-in-All, it was a great (but tiring) night! I have a few pics!

I had called out, "MODEL STATUS!" and this is what came out. I think Paula looks scared rather than "Model". Hmmm. haha

Looks like I'm not the shortest one!! W00T!

I finally got with the flow and took a jumping piktur. :] I'm proud.

I was meaning to get Paula and Andrea in the pic, but obviously I failed.

My concert dress. It's a dress and a skirt underneath incase you couldn't tell. I wore it at the Long Beach WBA thingy too (but not for the actual performance... I wore it to get around the place).

Andrea & Tracy :)

Dinner at Red Robins...excluding Kevin..so basically, the fluties.

Afterward. :)

Another afterward one. I can't wait to see Boram and SooYoon again!!!! :D

....

2006-06-08T03:29:25Z

:/...

Troubadour - 6/1/06

2006-06-03T20:39:38Z

it was fooreeakin' awesome! Let's see... school from morning to the afternoon, and by the time I got to Krispi's, I was sweating like a hog (don't tell me they can't sweat. -_- they can if I force them to). So, I took a mighty quick shower and got ready. We stopped by Coffee Beans. mmmm :] Then we were off!

So. There was a buttload of traffic, but we somehow managed and got to Santa Monica BLVD. WELL. We passed by Troubadour, freaked, and tried to find a place to park... It took us literally 30 minutes or more to find a parking spot. In the end, we had to valet park. But it's all good, it was infront of Troubadour across the streets anyway. W00t.

Anyway. By the time we got there, there was a line forming. We met these two chicks, chatted, then impatiently talked about how our bladders were gonna explode. -_-; and a pipe dripping nearby did NOT help.

In time, we were let in and we rushed to the bathroom. There was a huge line for the girls (as is always), and there were only 2 toilets, 1 of which did not work. Funny.

But after that, we decided to go up to the second floor and watch from there. Both Krispi and I didn't feel like standing much (we were both in pain of something, headache, stomach ache, etc). Anyway, House of Fools started the show. They were beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. I didn't record the song I wanted like last time I saw them too (at The Alley in Fullerton)!!! ARGHHH, I missed it twice!!! But Krispi and I are definitely going to see them again.. we had to promise them. -_-; haha, anyway, so, during the House of Fools show, I noticed someone staring at me from the crowd down below.. and I didn't think much of it at first..but as we made eye contact, he turned and pointed this chick's shoulder, and the entire lot of them turned and stared at me. I felt so weird! Hahaha, so I decided to confront them, guessing they were from the DLD board. Which they were! So, I was stoked to meet them. :]

As Paulson started, I ran back to the second floor and watched through that. They're pretty good, but I liked House of Fools more. WELL! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small group on the bottom floor, and saw JAWKNEE. :] So, after Paulson's performance, I ran down to meet THAT lot. And of course, took pictures. hahaah! Jawknee's so funn, and his hugs are like bear hugss!! :) Haha, "emo-tear". Anyway, Sherwood was starting up so I ran back back.

And as I would've guessed, Sherwood kicked some donkey butt. They were incredible, I love them!! I felt so proud singing along to their songs. xD Silly me..

Anyway, after that was DLD- wooooo! :] They were awesome as always. And happy be-lated birthday to Spencer!! Haha- I bought so many shirts... -_-; Oh wellz.. I was supposed to molest the House of Fool's manager to get a free shirt. HAHAHA, but I didn't, nor did Krispi. But we were so close to doing it. He was talking to some lady, so I didn't dare. hahaha.

Then we ran to the back and met with DLD and some folk. We were going to go eat with them, but decided against it.. As we tried to get back home, we got lost so many times.. hahahaha, so I got home kind of late. :[ But it was reeeally fun. :]

:]

2006-06-01T08:37:59Z

saichan @ 2006-05-23T19:56:00

2006-05-24T02:56:48Z

are you listening to my words?

'cuz I saw your smile pass me by,
and it landed far from me.

..and what does that mean?

i hate him.

2006-05-18T01:38:16Z

so afterschool, I had a little fun picnic with my buds, Andrea, Stephanie, and Paula. And eventually, my parents pick me up.

My dad immediately starts to yell and scream at me about how I have no asian friends. He says that in 1-2 years, all the non-asian friends that I have will forget me and because I have no asian friends to start out w/ I will be alone and helpless and crummy in the world. And that I'll become a homeless and that he won't care if something were to happen to me.
He thinks that asians are superior, and that they should be my close friends, not anyone else. He bags on other ethnicities, calling them stupid, ugly, or w/e, and always compliments himself.

He also says he knows what's best for me because he's gone through life, and what he THINKS he knows what's best for me doesn't make a single sense to me because I have been Sandz' friend for 11+ years, and not ONCE have I ever lost touch with her. And JUST BECAUSE someone's asian doesn't automatically put them in the top of my "favorites" list. Maybe for him, but he's just a racist little nag.

My dad also mentioned ('cuz I brought my guitar to school and set it down on the seat when I got into the car) that I should completely give up singing because I will fail at it, and I suck anyway. What the hell does he know? And incase no one knows, I DO have asian friends. They DO exist. I may not be close friends with them, but just 'cuz he says they have to be doesn't automatically make them.

His goals and his views, his standards are high. And I'm not up to those standards. He even mentions my sister, about how she's doing great and how she has so many close asian friends. What the fuck? I don't give a damn if my friends are freaking asian. I hate his racism, his beliefs, what he thinks is best for me, and all that jazz. Because frankly, he's trying to choose what's best for me when I know it's not. And even if it is, I appreciate his nasty and downgrading comments, but I'd like to find out myself.

It's not like I ignore everything he says. What he says, whate everyone says, I always remember. And I try new things, but if it doesn't work out for the better, or if what i have now is better, then I'd rather stick with the better.

He acts like me having no close asian friends will kill me. Well, kill me then. I don't care.

The only times he appreciates anything I do is when I fix his internet problem on his laptop.
That's the ONLY time he recognizes something I do right. Everything else I do? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, fucking wrong.

My dad also brings my mom into the fight, and he screams at her for raising me the way I am- who I am. My mom has nothing to do with this. And so, I start crying because I'm a sensitive little shameful daughter of his, and I can't handle his screaming. And then he continues to call me a baby, and retarded, and stupid, and ugly.

We get home, my dad leaves. I run into my room crying like that "failure at life" that I am, and my mom comes in. She's crying too because my dad's been screaming at her, and she's been trying to defend me. She says that I should have asian friends (I FREAKING DO), and that I should give up singing because it's hopeless.

My life is fucked because I'm scared of who to become friends with, I'm scared that I'll lose my close friends, my ultimate dream of creating a band and singing has been marred, and I'm scared to get a b/f, or get married even. Because I know that who I fall in love with, he will hate. Because either, A) he's not asian. B) he's not smart. C) he didn't go to a good college. D) he isn't goodlooking.

My dad and I are so opposite, but he thinks he can bend me whichever way HE pleases.

I was going to run away today to a friend's house. But if he knew that I'd run to Krispi's, I know he'd get pissed off at me for running to a white girl's house. I wish my dad would just leave me alone. I used to think that he would scream at me for the better, but the tone in his voice changed. And I know for a fact that he screams at me because he disapproves of me.

I'm a scar to him. Unsuccessful- I'm a failure.

I want to run away. Somewhere far from my parents, but close to what friends I have.

He needs to chill and agree with SOME part of the way I live because right now, he's not "satisfied". For the past many months that he's yelled at me and bitched at me, I held in my tears and my emotions. And finally, today, everything, stress, depression, anger, everything exploded into tears. I can't even cry infront of him. I can't scream, I can't cry, I can't run away, I can't go to my nonasian friends, I can't get a bf, I can't get married.

Why can't he see what he's doing to me? Does he just NOT care..? Is that it? If he doesn't care, then why not just leave me alone and pretend like he's nonexistent? Because, trust me, that'd be doing me a huge favor.

YEYEY!

2006-05-17T01:24:02Z

I can play Pollen and Salt (by Daphne Loves Derby) on meh guitar now!!!!

..but an easier version of it. o_O;